"But blessed is the
man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God. They're like trees
replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers—never a worry through the
hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, serene and calm through droughts,
bearing fresh fruit every season.” (Jeremiah 17:7-8, MSG).
The first time I encountered a hostile work environment, I consulted my attorney and filed a formal grievance. The second time I encountered a hostile work environment, I consulted myself and quit my job. The third time I encountered a hostile work environment, I consulted God.
I know all too well what it means to loathe my profession, job responsibilities, bosses and coworkers. As a Christian, I am called to LOVE, not loathe. The energy involved in loathing is draining, numbing and self-destructive. Having learned from my first and second encounters, I knew consulting God was the right thing to do when havoc broke loose in the workplace a third time.
Following is a detailed account of my third encounter in a hostile workplace. Three instances moved me to trust in Hashem (The Name)—“the holy God who dwells in our midst, hearing and answering our prayers.” (Spangler, Ann. Praying the Names of God. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2004.). Three coping mechanisms confirmed my trust in Hashem. And, three reactions demonstrated my love for Hashem.
INSTANCE #1
Wednesday, November 18, 2009, approximately 3:43am
Unfortunately, sometimes we have to deal with bigots and simpletons in life. I woke up this morning frustrated about a professional matter and I prayed Psalm 35 (The Message translation). When I arrived to my desk part of the answer to my prayer was my inability to Log In on my computer. Another answer is that I can visibly see that my Enemy has been caught in the trap intended for me.
INSTANCE #2
Date Unknown, approximately 12:40pm (lunch hour)
3 of us (me, KJ and my Enemy) were dining in the office break room when my Enemy spoke a racial epithet and justified the statement with a second ignorant remark. From the soles of my feet to the top of my locs, my blood curdled. I asked God to keep me still and calm until 1:00pm, as I repeated Isaiah 26:3 in my head:
Thou wilt keep her in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because she trusteth in thee.
As soon as I returned to my desk, I called my prayer partner and told her: “I can’t go into details, but you need to pray for me right now!”
INSTANCE #3
Tuesday, February 23, 2010, 9:43am
I received the following e-mail from my Enemy:
Subject: Please stock the fridge with caffeine-free Diet Coke
I was able to cope with the Enemy in my workplace because I kept a “heavenly perspective” and trusted God to be my Defender. Three scriptures helped me maintain my sanity and sustain my serenity:
- Psalm 35:4-8, MSG;
- Proverbs 2:12, NIV; and
- 1 Samuel 24:12-13, NIV.
COPING MECHANISM #1
Monday, November 16, 2009, approximately 4:30pm
When my Enemy asked me to type numerous pages of her handwritten notes, at the end of her workday, because she wasn’t a fast typist, I looked at her with a side-eye.
Seriously?! How is it that you’re not a fast typist, but you were hired because you’re a proficient blogger?!
It was easy for me to discern that my Enemy was conniving and thought I could not complete the transcribing task by her Wednesday, November 18, 2009 deadline. Yet, I stayed in the office on Tuesday evening to finish the transcription of notes. What my Enemy failed to take into account was the fact that some of her handwriting was illegible, so she had to hurriedly fill in numerous blanks within the transcript on Wednesday morning because she was due in court by 1:00pm.
When those thugs try to
knife me in the back, make them look foolish. Frustrate all those who are
plotting my downfall. Make them like cinders in a high wind, with God's angel
working the bellows. Make their road lightless and mud-slick, with God's angel
on their tails. Out of sheer cussedness they set a trap to catch me; for no
good reason they dug a ditch to stop me. Surprise them with your ambush—catch
them in the very trap they set, the disaster they planned for me. (Psalm
35:4-8, MSG).
COPING MECHANISM #2
Unknown Date, Approximately 12:40pm (lunch hour)
When my Enemy uttered the racial epithet in the office break room with ease, I knew she was dangerous. Although, she did not make derogatory remarks about the African race, her remarks were obscene. It was safe for me to assume that my Enemy’s opprobrious conduct could reoccur at any time.
Wisdom saved me
from the way of a wicked woman, from a woman whose words were perverse. (Proverbs 2:12, NIV).
Though her remarks infuriated me, I stayed seated at the dining table because I did not want my Enemy to visibly see how her words rattled me. I actually managed to convey in a peaceful tone of voice that her remarks were offensive.
COPING MECHANISM #3
Tuesday, February 23, 2010, 9:43am
When my Enemy sent me the one-liner e-mail asking me to stock the office refrigerator with her preferred beverage, I knew she bumped her head and thought my name changed to Kizzy.
Considering the previous attacks, I recognized my Enemy as being onerous and a bigot. This third attack proved to me that she was an absolute fool! All 14 people in our office know where the beverages are stored, so she could have easily obtained her own drink.
Again, I relied on the Word of the LORD to sustain my serenity:
May the LORD judge
between you and me. And may the LORD avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but
my hand will not touch you. As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil
deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you. (1 Samuel 24:12-13, NIV).
Reflecting on my weeklong study of The Name, I realized that my reactions to the aforementioned instances demonstrated my love for Hashem. According to Ann Spangler, “Loving God’s name mean upholding his reputation by reflecting his character, by trusting him, and by praying in a way that acknowledges his nature—that he is full of power, love, goodness, and faithfulness.”
REACTION #1
Wednesday, November 18, 2009, 9am-12pm
I know from my study of Proverbs that I should not “gloat when my enemy falls;” when my enemy stumbles, my heart should not rejoice. (Proverbs 24:17, NIV). I simply acknowledge God’s sovereignty and take notice of how God answers my prayers.
- I completed the task of transcribing voluminous handwritten notes to the best of my ability on the evening of Tuesday, November 17, 2009.
- Although my computer wasn’t functioning properly at 9am, I still offered to help my Enemy with her task because I knew she had to be in court at 1:00pm.
- When my computer resumed its normal function, I continued to offer assistance with numbering the transcript line by line.
WINNING RESULT
I received this one-liner e-mail from my Enemy:
Subject: Thank you for your help today.
Date: Wednesday, November 18, 2009 3:47PM
REACTION #2
1 day after the break room incident, Approximately 9:00am-11:30am
I explained to both of my bosses, in separate conversations, that I would no longer dine with their employee (my coworker & Enemy).
Since 2006, I’ve enjoyed my work and my work environment. When I step through the office door, I uphold the reputation of a law firm that represents people of all ethnicities. Not until yesterday did I hear a representative of this firm use a racially offensive term. I don’t care what folks say outside of my presence, outside of this office, but I will not tolerate such revolting behavior in my workplace. It is safe for me to assume that this employee will make an offensive comment about my ethnicity and we will have a problem. Hence, my future lunch hours will be serene and calm, and free of their employee’s presence.
WINNING RESULTS
- My employers listened to my concerns.
- My employers respected my decision.
- My Enemy’s mouth was kept shut from speaking to me from that day forward, except for entertaining professional discussions.
REACTION #3
Tuesday, February 23, 2010, 9:54am-1:30pm
- KJ, my lunch mate, friend and receptionist for the firm we share office space with; and
- Patricia, my prayer partner.
The e-mail I sent to KJ stated:
Date: Tuesday, February 23, 2010 9:54AM
Subject: FW: Please stock the fridge with caffeine-free Diet Coke.
UNBELIEVEABLE!! Let’s see how long it takes me to complete this task.
The e-mail I sent to Patricia stated:
Simply because this is Malkia’s designated week for kitchen duty, I guess she thought it was appropriate to send this message to me?! UNBELIEVABLE!
By 1:00pm my employers asked me to meet with them. Somehow, my bosses found out about the senseless e-mail. They asked me how I felt about the message. Essentially, I explained that I interpreted the e-mail as laughable.
At this point, her antics are so ludicrous, it’s a waste of energy and time to respond to her foolishness because I have to complete important tasks for the both of you. If she thought I was going to step away from my desk to put some caffeine-free Diet Coke in the refrigerator, she thought wrong—NOT TODAY!
One of my employers even suggested I speak to my Enemy, in an effort to help her understand that her request was inappropriate. My response:
JESUS CAN HELP HER!
WINNING RESULTS
- My employers actually care about my well-being.
- I was able to share my authentic feelings and thoughts with my employers.
Life is challenging because the workplace can be hostile. The Enemy can show up on the job in various forms (i.e., manager, coworker, client) and “delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil.” (Proverbs 2:14, NIV). Life is good because I can consult the Word of God and refer to the life of David to learn how to stand in a hostile work environment. Life is abundant because when I submit myself to God and resist the Enemy, the Enemy flees; when I draw near to God, God draws near to me! (James 4:7-8, NIV).
Dear God:
I love Your name. I praise Your name. I respect Your name.
“Your name, O LORD, endures forever, your renown, O LORD, through all
generations.” (Psalm 135:13,
NIV).
Like David, I am not afraid to come to You and express my authentic feelings and
needs. (Psalm 54:3, 4, NIV
Application Notes). Like
David, when I asked You to repay evil to my Enemy, I simply stated my
confidence in Your promise to fight my battles. (Psalm
54:5, NIV Application Notes).
Enduring unwarranted
mistreatment is not a foreign concept to me, so when the Enemy showed up in my
current workplace, I willingly turned the entire matter over to You. The
moment I prayed The Message translation of Psalm 35, I put all of my hope in
your Word and trusted You to be my Defender. (Psalm 119:114, NIV).
O
LORD, I consulted You because if it were up to me to resolve my dealings with
the Enemy, I would have lost my job a year ago. Although I have never
been an advocate of violence, my Enemy’s words and behavior were worthy of 2 beat
downs in the break room. For nearly 2 years, I have endured unwarranted
mistreatment from my Enemy. O LORD, You know how many times I’ve sat at
my desk and given myself the same pep talk in order to cope with my Enemy--I’ve
had to remind myself of 3 things on a frequent basis:
- It is a foreign concept for me to intentionally mistreat others;
- It is a foreign concept for me to operate like a sphincter; and
- It is a foreign concept for me to function at the maturity level of a zygote.
When
I was on the verge of rendering a break room beat down, I reminded myself that
I did not have to lose my favor, integrity and peace over someone whose path
was crooked and whose ways were devious. (Proverbs
2:15, NIV).
If
it’s possible, it’s a natural occurrence for me to “live at peace with
everyone.” (Romans 12:18, NIV). However, I must admit that I did
not leave room for Your wrath after Instance #3. (Romans 12:19, NIV). Two days later, during my lunch
hour, I shook up 4 cans of caffeine-free Diet Coke and placed them in the
refrigerator door. I did notice that my Enemy entered the break room and
retrieved something from the refrigerator, but because my back was turned I was
not aware of the item she retrieved. I was certain she picked up one of
the agitated cans when she returned to the break room to gather several paper
towels off the spindle. The rumble of paper towels coming off the roll
was so sweet. As that instance granted comic relief, forgive me, O LORD,
for taking pleasure in vengeance.
When
I review the past 2 years with "spiritual" eyes:
- my Enemy's office has always been situated down the hall from me and my bosses--like a detachment;
- my Enemy's mouth has been kept shut from speaking to me;
- my bosses never cease to ask me about my well-being;
- childbirth was the means for the temporary removal of my Enemy from the workplace; and
- acceptance of a new job was the means for the permanent removal of my Enemy from the workplace.
O
LORD, I intercede for every person that encounters a hostile workplace.
Somebody dreads walking in the office doorway because the Enemy is poised to
attack. Somebody self-medicates because the Enemy’s antics prompt tension
headaches. Somebody can’t relax because their teeth are clinched, their
neck is stiff, and their shoulders are tight. Somebody is scheduling
weekly therapy sessions to talk about their troubles. Somebody is
physically sick from having to share their workspace with the Enemy.
Somebody can’t rest peacefully because they’re fighting the Enemy in their
sleep. Somebody is millimeters away from committing a break room beat
down. Before they’re “overcome by evil” let them meditate on your Word.
(Romans 12:21, NIV). If they can only speak one word,
let them speak The Name, Hashem!
I
am a living witness that your Word works!
If
I stick with You, O God…
If
I stand upright like that replanted tree in Eden…
I
don’t have to worry about the heat from all the hell the Enemy raises. I
never have to stoop to the level of the Enemy. I can have perfect peace
in the midst of a hostile workplace. I can bear the fresh fruit of the
Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control. (Galatians
5:22-23, NIV).
I
can shout “God always wins!”
In the name of Jesus Christ...AMEN.
I will praise you
forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is
good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints. (Psalm 52:9, NIV).
