IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE: BE FREE

He was teaching in one of the meeting places on the Sabbath. There was a woman present, so twisted and bent over with arthritis that she couldn’t even look up. She had been afflicted with this for eighteen years. When Jesus saw her, he called her over. “Woman, you’re free!” He laid hands on her and suddenly she was standing straight and tall, giving glory to God. (Luke 13:10-13, MSG).

Dear Jesus:

The pain of abuse. The pain of betrayal. The pain of depression. The pain of fear. The pain of heartache. The pain of illness. The pain of loss. The pain of rage. Life is challenging when I'm bent over in pain--it is physically impossible for me to "lift my eyes to the hills." (Psalm 121:1, AMP).

Life is good when You see me, call me, and heal me. For You are attentive to my need to be freed from years of bondage.

The freedom of forgiveness. The freedom of justice. The freedom of love. The freedom of peace. The freedom of victory. The freedom to praise. The freedom to rejoice. The freedom to worship. Life is abundant when I am able to give You glory for setting me free!

Lord, forgive me for the times I choose captivity over liberation. Increase my willingness to be free.

AMEN.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (emancipation from bondage, freedom). (2 Corinthians 3:17, AMP).

IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE: GO

Summoning the Twelve, He gave them power and authority over all the demons, and power to heal diseases. Then He sent them to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. “Take nothing for the road,” He told them, “no walking stick, no traveling bag, no bread, no money; and don’t take an extra shirt. Whatever house you enter, stay there and leave from there. If they do not welcome you, when you leave that town, shake off the dust from your feet as a testimony against them.” So they went out and traveled from village to village, proclaiming the good news and healing everywhere. (Luke 9:1-6, HCSB).

Dear Jesus:

With an humble heart, I give thanks for empowering me "to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick." (Luke 9:2, HCSB). 

Forgive me for the times I rejected the gift of Your power and authority; give me a willingness to obey You immediately when You charge me with an assignment.

Lord, I pray that I respect Your instruction at all times. For You said:

• I have "the authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and over all the power of the enemy; nothing will ever harm" me; and
• I have the "power to heal diseases." (Luke 10:19, HCSB; Luke 9:1, HCSB).

As I intercede for Your people all around the world, I ask that You keep me fully equipped:

• keep my mind focused on You;
• imprint Your affirming Word upon my heart;
• allow my tongue to share the good news;
• anoint my hands to touch with tenderness; and  
• ready my spirit with enthusiasm to go wherever You send me.

AMEN.

And the good news must first be proclaimed to all nations. (Mark 13:10, HCSB).

DOWNPOUR

"Have you ever traveled to where snow is made, seen the vault where hail is stockpiled,
the arsenals of hail and snow that I keep in readiness for times of trouble and battle and war?
 Can you find your way to where lightning is launched, or to the place from which the wind blows?
 Who do you suppose carves canyons for the downpours of rain, and charts the route of thunderstorms
 that bring water to unvisited fields, deserts no one ever lays eyes on,
drenching the useless wastelands so they're carpeted with wildflowers and grass? 
And who do you think is the father of rain and dew, the mother of ice and frost?
 You don't for a minute imagine these marvels of weather just happen, do you?" (Job 38:22-30, MSG).

I couldn’t figure out why I was irritable and quick-tempered, so I started analyzing what might have occurred to cause such a drastic change in my mood.  Last week, I experienced an “anniversary response” to an event that occurred five years ago.

Leading up to the summer of 2006, I was consumed by fury--I even had homicidal nightmares about the people who hurt me.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

I’m in desperate need to learn about forgiving and putting forgiveness to practice in my life.  I have already imagined the peace and freedom I can experience, if only I forgive.  If I can let go of anger, hatred and rage, my life would be less stressful.  I need your help God!  I need to heal from the pain/scars of . . . .  I need help in writing and speaking the words that will start the healing process.

On the evening of June 20, 2006, I wrote a letter explaining the suffering I endured for more than 20 years.  At the conclusion of my letter, I prayed that God heal me from the trauma I experienced as a child.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

During morning worship service, I kneeled at the altar and permitted myself to release 20+ years worth of tears.

Life is challenging because hurts of the past can devastate and embitter us to the point that we actually take ownership of someone else’s sins.  Life is good because we can call out to God in our desperate condition and God will get us out in the nick of time.  God will speak words that heal us, pulling us back from the brink of death.  (Psalm 107:19-20, MSG).  Life is abundant because a healing downpour from the LORD will change our useless wastelands (of anger, bitterness, hatred and unforgiveness) to fields carpeted with wildflowers and grass.  (Job 38:25-27, MSG).

Dear God:

I don’t for a minute imagine the marvel of a downpour just happens.  (Job 38:30, MSG).

Five years ago I willfully laid my burdens down at the altar.  I’ll never forget that Sunday because later in the afternoon a torrential downpour fell from the heavens.  Standing on the sidewalk in my Sunday best, I welcomed the rain because I actually felt cleansed in the downpour.  Symbolically, 20+ years of hurt and pain were washed away with every drop of rain that covered my body.

I don’t for a minute imagine the marvel of a downpour just happens.  (Job 38:30, MSG).

The summer of 2006 was a hellish season for me!  As much as I desired instantaneous healing, the process was not quick and easy.  For 3 years, I resided in the wasteland of unforgiveness.  I settled in the desert of isolation, voluntarily removing myself from activities that would aid in my healing.  I walked through the field of bitterness—“holding on to rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”  (Ephesians 4:31, NIV).

O Master, I know You were responsible for charting the route of the thunderstorms that brought water to my wasteland. (Job 38:25, MSG).  Even though I lingered in a place of anger, bitterness, hatred and unforgiveness, You drenched me to provide nourishment and promote growth.

When I declared that I was ready and willing to change my course, You guided me to Your safe harbor.  You were right there, listening, when I prayed with sincerity.  (Psalm 145:18, MSG).  I wailed in distress morning, noon and night, and You heard my voice, O God.  (Psalm 55:17, NIV).  I sought the help of a licensed professional.  And, I purposely studied Your Word concerning deliverance, forgiveness, healing and repentance: Psalm 37, Psalm 51, Isaiah 1:16-20, Jeremiah 17:14 and 30:17, Matthew 9, John 5:1-14, Acts 7:54-60, Romans 12:17-21, 1 John 4:9-10.

I don’t for a minute imagine the marvel of a downpour just happens.  (Job 38:30, MSG).

The summer of 2011 is a winning season!  I appreciate the downpour of 2006 because it afforded passage to a land of lush vegetation.  From a weather-beaten vessel, You shaped me into an instrument of praise.

Thank you for the downpour!

In the name of Jesus Christ…AMEN.


I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. "When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed." God's Decree. "I'll turn things around for you. I'll bring you back from all the countries into which I drove you"—God's Decree—"bring you home to the place from which I sent you off into exile. You can count on it.” (Jeremiah 29:10-14, MSG).

Anniversary Response: A sudden unexpected rush of memories, intense emotions and feelings of grief related to the anniversary of a traumatic event. More Formal Definition: From the National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: An increase in distressing memories of the event in the days leading up to and/or on the anniversary of traumatic events. These memories may be triggered by reminders, but memories may also seem to come from out of the blue while at work, home, or doing recreational activities. An increase in distress around the anniversary of a traumatic event is commonly known as an "anniversary reaction" and can range from feeling mildly upset for a day or two to a more extreme reaction in which an individual experiences significant psychiatric or medical symptoms.  (http://dying.about.com/od/glossary/g/anniversary_res.htm).

THE VALLEY - Chapter One

I prayed the name of Yahweh Roi (The Lord Is My Shepherd) as part of my devotion last week.  Ann Spangler, author of Praying the Names of God, requires the reader to study Psalm 23 to learn more about Yahweh Roi.  She also poses the question, “How would your experience of daily life change if you really believed that goodness and kindness would follow you all the days of your life?”

All week long, I practiced living like I truly “believed that goodness and” mercy followed me.  In all of my dealings, before I responded with sarcasm or a criticism, I chanted: Goodness and mercy follow you, Malkia; goodness and love follow you!

I have matured to a place of recognizing that God is ever-present in all of my circumstances, good and bad.  The study of Psalm 23 moved me to recall a time when I was positioned in “the valley of the shadow of death” and I did not recognize the presence of God.  The Valley – Chapter One addresses a time of walking “through the valley of the shadow of” heartache.

THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack. He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters. He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake. Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over. Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place. (Psalm 23, AMP).

 O Lord, how long will this pain last?!

When I wake up in the morning, I’m hurting.  When I go to sleep at night, I’m hurting.  In the midday, I’m just going through the motions.

O Lord, how long will I walk in this valley?

Will this pain ever cease?!  I’m inconsolable.  A stranger to heartache I am not, but why did this have to happen to me?  Seriously God, I can’t feel my heartbeat.

O Lord, how long will I stand in this valley?

I’m totally numb.  I don’t want to laugh.  I don’t want to smile.  I don’t want to moan.  I don’t want to wail.  I don’t want to applaud.  I don’t want to sing.  I don’t want to talk.  I don’t want to move.  I don’t!

What have I done in this life that’s deserving of such excruciating pain?  I’m bewildered and nearly convinced that I’m suffering from a mental health disorder (i.e., dementia, schizophrenia). 

O Lord, how long will I walk in this valley?

God, what happens when my faith diminishes to the size of a pinpoint?

But the Master said, "There is no 'more' or 'less' in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, 'Go jump in the lake,' and it would do it.” (Luke 17:6, MSG).

Dear God:

I need You to rescue me from this dark, paralyzing valley!

I’m neglecting my health.  I’ve relapsed to the practice of immoral behavior and the consumption of harmful substances to relieve my pain.

Honestly, my faith is dwindling and I’m having a hard time believing Your promises.  You said “goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life,” but right now, in this valley, I feel like sin, cruelty, and abandonment are following close behind me. (Psalm 23:6).

Life is challenging because I’m positioned in this valley and I don’t know how to escape.  Life is good because my earth angels are interceding when I don’t have the fortitude to pray.  Life is abundant because You are with me from my valley to my win!

Yahweh Roi, I need You to illuminate my path in this valley.  Reveal Your presence to me, O Shepherd.  Give me the faith to command this pain to jump to its rightful place, away from me.  Shield me with Your rod and help me to heed Your guidance.  Apply Your healing salve to comfort my aching heart.  Please forgive me for withdrawing from You.  Forgive me for turning to detrimental things, people and places, instead of turning to You.  I extend my arms to You now as a demonstration of the release of my angst, and my willingness to depend on You.  With my hands raised, I reach out for You to lead me one step closer to joy.  In the name of Jesus Christ, the One who consoles and keeps me…Amen.

So listen! and be kind! Help me out of this!" You did it: you changed wild lament into whirling dance; You ripped off my black mourning band and decked me with wildflowers. I'm about to burst with song; I can't keep quiet about you. God, my God, I can't thank you enough.  (Psalm 30:10-12, MSG).